She managed to learn five languages - her teachers were her brother-in-law, acquaintances and her children's books.Lakshmi Venkateshwaran looks like any 87-year old Tamilian maami, in a neatlytied saree with a thin gold border and the traditional five-point diamond nose ring. But that's where the similarity ends. She can read, write and speak in five Indian languages: English, Hindi, Tamil, Malayalam and Telugu.
And Lakshmi has not studied beyond Class VIII. Born in a traditional Palaghat Iyer family, little Lakshmi showed signs of scholarly success even in primary school. She excelled in Mathematics, learning her quarter-times tables, half-times tables and three-fourths times tables with ease, and picking up the beautiful and difficult classical language, Telugu. A bright student with a will to learn, Lakshmi always stood first in her class.
'I wish I could have studied more, but there were no schools for girls beyond the eighth standard in my neighbourhood at that time. Even though I was very good at my studies, my brother would just not allow me to go to a co-educational school, since I would have been the only girl in my class then!' Gaining knowledge Since she came from a background of Tamil-speaking people who lived in Kurnool in Andhra Pradesh, she had a variety of things to learn at home and at school.
At home, she learnt to read, write and speak her mother tongue, Tamil, and picked up the mantras and mythology of a priestly family. And at school, she received instructions in logical and scientific subjects such as Mathematics - in Telugu! By the time she was 10, she was simultaneously getting an informal as well as a formal education, and working in a different language for each one. Even after she'd given up school, she channelled her keen interest in learning into studying mythological stories.
"My brother just wouldn't allow me to go to a co-educational school, since I would have been the only girl in my class then!"
Marriage & beyond
At 15, life took a dramatic new turn. She was married to a dashing young man in the British Indian Army. But there was a new problem. Lakshmi's own family happened to be based in Andhra Pradesh. But traditionally, Palaghat Iyers live in Kerala. While her husband went off on posting to faraway places, the new Mrs Lakshmi Venkateshwaran was left behind with her in-laws in Palaghat.
They spoke Malayalam, not Tamil. People made fun of the young bride because she couldn't speak the local language. But the teenaged Lakshmi was determined to make a success of her life, to be the perfect wife and daughter-in-law. So she enlisted the help of her younger brother-in-law. Before her five-year stay at the in-laws' home ended, she had learnt not just to speak Malayalam, but to read and write the language!
A student still She then joined her husband, following the drum as an army wife. Raised in a sheltered, cosseted family home in the south, with a large family all around her, she was now catapulted into the unfamiliar north India, with just her husband by her side. She went to live in places such as Jammu, Pathankot, Jabalpur, Ramgarh (in Bihar) and Nashik. She also lived in a tent with her husband. And she learnt Hindi.
'It was difficult for me initially, because I could only speak Malayalam and Tamil. Almost everyone around me spoke Hindi, and sometimes English. I had a lot of trouble making myself understood,' she reminisces. Their children were admitted to schools where they began to learn how to read and write Hindi and English. Lakshmi, although she was a busy mother to six children, found time nevertheless to learn Hindi and English from her children's books, and from the people around her. And her thirst for knowledge was not restricted to languages.
She was also eager to learn the cuisine of northern India, and add new and "exotic" recipes to her repertoire. 'I wanted to learn how to make chapattis. But the Punjabi women didn't talk to me, because I was from the south, and didn't speak Hindi well then! It was a French lady, the wife of another officer, who taught me how to make chapattis,' she says. To this day, the hard-won know-how of making soft, perfectly round chapattis comes into play whenever she cooks a north-Indian meal for her family.
For her children
Six children (two of her boys were studying at boarding school) and a generous allowance sent regularly, month after month, to the large family of her husband's widowed sister meant that an expensive convent education was a strain on the family's resources. However, Lakshmi was determined. 'I didn't want my children to suffer the way I had suffered. I wanted them to learn English and Hindi.
So, I wanted my children to be able get on in the world, be able to communicate with everyone,' she explains. And so, leading one small child by the hand and carrying a toddler in her arms, the young Lakshmi spoke to nuns at the convent school nearby in her broken English. She managed to convince them to give her a reduction in school fees so that both her younger children could have the benefits of a convent education.
Her dedication to education and learning finally paid off. Not only did the children grow up speaking English like a first language, but she too learnt English! The children's schoolbooks, old copies of Reader's Digest, story books and many conversations with her children made her proficient in the language. Happy in the present Six months ago, she had a heart attack, and doctor's orders have her recovering in her son's home.
Today, she watches every Hindi movie she can, and writes letters to all her children in flowing, fluent English. All the latest issues of various magazines, in a hotchpotch of languages - right from Malayalam Manorama to Reader's Digest - are always found scattered on her bed for afternoon reading, along with the spectacle case containing her reading glasses, which she uses daily. A living example of the triumph of the human spirit, Lakshmi has, quite literally, turned the hardships and obstacles in her life into learning experiences, coming out a winner. And that has made all the difference.
As told to Radhika Sangam.
Three women who've dared to tread out of chartered routes, make their own, sometimes unusual, choices... and emerged winners
Mind over matter
Sharmili Rajput, 39, is Director Marketing at Oriflame. Her tips to women who dream big and want the best for their families...
Staying on top is a tough job. Ask any World Cup winner or a tennis champion who has a title to defend. And as Director Marketing at Oriflame,
Sharmili Rajput sure has a tough job - of managing people, promotions, finances and strategies every day to keep her company at its top position in the Indian direct selling market.
Add to it the responsibility of raising a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter and managing a home, and Sharmili has her plate full. A plate she balances on her manicured nails, but with her feet - in running shoes - firmly on the ground. True to her surname, she says her first commandment for happiness is to take the bull by its horn.
Act, don't whine, to solve your problems
'When I was working at a bank earlier, meetings between the marketing team and the product-development team were always fraught with, "that idea won't work in the market" attitudes. So I did my homework, researched every suggestion I made, and proved its viability.
That brought down the negative attitudes of people, because they could not prove me wrong. Just complaining someone has a bad attitude rarely makes it go away. Whether it is about work, about putting on weight, or dealing with a family issue, whining doesn't solve it. You have to take action.'
Everyone can go that extra mile
Fifteen years in high-stress positions and having built herself and her teams from scratch, she says most of us, especially women, underestimate our mental and physical capacities. That we rarely give our minds and our bodies the chance to perform at their peak. 'I began running when I was 28 years old. I wasn't an athlete.
But I was determined that I could run 5km at one go. I was determined to do something that is not easy.' She took blood, blisters and the pain in her stride and gradually increased her speed from jogging at the speed of 6 to running at 10 on her treadmill. Today, she runs at least 8km every day, rising at 5.45am. If this makes you breathless, this is what she has to say to you: 'Unless you have a physical infirmity, you can do it too.
It's all in the mind. If you have the intention your body will listen to you.' Sharmili is fit, has more staying power, and the endorphins the exercise releases in her body help her maintain a state of grace when the going gets tough. Also, having a baby at 36 has spurred her to take exercise seriously. 'I do not want to be an unfit and tired mother when my daughter turns 20,' she says.
Combine the heart and the mind in whatever you do
'I've grown in confidence from my days as an MBA student by ensuring I'm good at what I do. Skill comes from the mind, and the intention and pride of doing a job well comes from the heart.' This has given her the courage to speak her mind without fear, because people have seen Sharmili deliver, and know it's worth listening when she makes a point.
Attitudes are cultivated, so why grow negative ones?
'I've had failures and losses that affected me deeply. But I always talk myself out of negative feelings. People that obstruct or harm you rarely lose sleep over it. So why should you? I don't believe we are born with an attitude. We cultivate it. I've trained myself to stay positive.'
Stress is a part of life; choose your battles
'There are things you can change and those you cannot. Concentrate on the former and let the latter go. Most of our worries are self-inflicted.
Here's an example:
The laundry has not come in time. You have two options
1. You worry that the dhobi (laundry man) has run away with the clothes, is using them himself, or ruined them.
Or
2. Use other clothes and linen. And if the inefficiency of the service continues, replace the laundry man. The second option liberates because it has a plan of action. The first one just adds frown lines to your face, and weighs on you without pointing to a solution.'
Empower the people around you
At home: 'In Mumbai, as I was starting out my career, I would leave small cue cards for the maid, writing on each which vegetable was to be cooked and what her chores were. I had to because as a rookie there's no way you can take phone calls from a maid in the middle of meetings.'
At work: 'I recruit competent people. I know they will not disturb me with issues they can handle on their own. I always encourage initiative. Yes, sometimes there are errors, but fixing them strengthens the system. Why do the work you have recruited a team to do?'
It is important to indulge yourself on a regular basis
It's easy to bypass yourself in the daily list of things to do. But dark chocolate spiced with chilli, massages, shopping and reading The Frog Prince fairytale to her daughter every night charges her batteries like nothing else. 'I make the most of my free time when I'm travelling on work.
The shopping and massages in Bangkok - our region's headquarters - get me back into action always. We all need to do at least that one thing for ourselves that makes us relax and smile. My time with my daughter Ivana does all that and more.'
'Be it about work, putting on weight, or dealing with a family issue, whining doesn't solve it... you have to take action'
There is no place for egos in raising a family
Sharmili married Vir Inder, her batchmate from IIM. They began and grew in their marketing careers in Mumbai and then suddenly 'Vir got an offer of a lifetime, but it was in Delhi. We made the decision to shift as a couple. Every time I travel and Ivana is at home, he makes sure he is with her as soon as he can get away from work.
Also, we have de-prioritised our socialising to a great extent. A demanding job and a growing baby are both important. Vir and I back each other up as professionals and parents. There's little place for a "we" to thrive if we think only of our individual joys.'
Sharmili's 24 hours
5.45am to 7.30am: Wake up, have a cup of cappuccino and a digestive biscuit. Run on the treadmill for at least 8km. Or hit the hotel gym if she is travelling.
7.30am: Ivana time. Prepping her for playschool, post which her nanny takes over as Sharmili gets ready for office.
8.30am: Ready for office fortified with two stuffed parathas or poha or eggs, bread and muesli.
9.30am to 1.30pm: Meetings, presentations, reviews and spreadsheet analysis at her glass-fronted corner office at Connaught Place, New Delhi's premier business district.
1.30pm: Lunch from the canteen. A tad oily, but filling.
7.30, 8 or 9pm: Home at last and complete attention on Ivana. Her playschool stories, her cartoon films, the reading of The Frog Prince, and her dinner.
9.30pm: Dinner with Vir. Usually on the menu is roti, vegetables, dal, salad and raita. Followed by a short walk together, with Ivana in tow.
11pm: Asleep after reading a bit of non-fiction or a bestseller.
As told to Alina sen.
Ameera Shah, 31, CEO and Executive Director of Metropolis Healthcare Ltd, on how she made her father's company grow from strength to strength.
Despite the fact that only at age 31, Ameera Shah heads Metropolis Healthcare Ltd, a multinational chain of diagnostic centres, she comes across as self-effacing, and down-to-earth.
The birth of a dream, for father and daughter
'My father, Dr Sushil Shah, was running a pathology laboratory in Mumbai. I studied finance in Austin College, US. When I came back, I got a job offer. I had reasonable work experience; I had worked for Goldman Sachs and a few start-up companies.
But I told my father, "This is not my cup of tea, I want to do something where I can see the results; and this kind of work would be demotivating." My father asked me, "Do you want to be an entrepreneur or an executive?" and I said I don't know the difference! I was just 21.' On her father's advice, she spent the next few months watching what he was doing. And then Ameera transformed the laboratory into a business.
'It was a common brainchild. My father and I sat together and discussed the idea. I worked at setting it up; even now, he is not involved in the day-to-day running of the business. That's my job.' Today, Ameera has 2,500 people working for her, with centres in UAE, South Africa and Sri Lanka.
Surviving in a maledominated industry
She has to strive that much harder to be taken seriously. 'I think there are two basic issues. One is age - the people I deal with are all much older. The second is gender - ours is a male-dominated industry. To top it all, I am not a doctor nor do I have a pathology degree; which makes it all the more difficult for them to accept me.'
Her good looks are actually an added disadvantage. 'I think it depends on the industry you are in. Nowadays, there are a lot of smart young women in the financial services. Healthcare, on the other hand, is still conservative. There are few women in this industry, good looking or otherwise.' The first five years were especially difficult for Ameera. The fact that she was Dr Shah's daughter went against her.
'It was assumed that I was put in that position because I was the daughter and not because I was qualified for the job. You see a lot of that happening around you - company owners' children being promoted to vice-president or president just because they are related. But I didn't have a choice. I had to work that much harder.',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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